Well, exCUSE me miss ali.  maybe i've actually had a life for these past few weeks.  or maybe i've actually been STUDYING!  ugh. whatever. 

call me, kay, babe.  i miss you. 

well, talking to you on the phone now....

WHOLLY SHNIT!!!  I haven't had english for a whole week and all this time i thought all i need for class TOMORROW were 5 sources.  so here i am looking up some sources for a PENDING argumentative topic and i look at my calendar....IN CLASS ESSAY!   4 page paper DUE.  what the heck am i gonna due...i mean DO???  

A girl's gotta sleep, aye.  (i love it when my brother says "aye, sis?")  just got him to go to sleep for his first day of school tomorrow.  read him a story and everything.  aww, how sweet.  i know. 

oh yah, still stressed about the paper.  i'll stress later when i wake up tomorrow.  oops, Ton's calling.  Bye. 

MY NEW BROTHER, RAYMOND...

trying on some new clothes.  he got his CHUCKS!!

in training...

GOTTA LOVE HIM.

How God can bless.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

HE LOVES ME!!!

Boy, love is exhausting sometimes.  I am so tired of my emotions flipping back and forth with every word I hear from friends and the from him, directly from him.  it's so easy to be "strong" when he's not around.  i think of the bad and only the bad.  i remember the awful things he said to me and the way he once treated me.  i think of how good "space" is for us and how staying friends means that there's no chance for moving on.  then he comes to my house, completely against my will, and next thing you know i'm listening to what a beautiful guy he really is.  after a bit of an anger exchange between the two of us, he's most sincere in his gratitude of having me in his life.  "Don't lose hope in me.  I don't deserve you, but please don't give up hope in me," he says.  yes, i miss him.  yes, i can't stop thinking about him.  yes, i want to give in and just be with him.  but how is he to learn that he can't keep toying with my emotions?  i need to be strong and i cannot fall.  "Don't fall," he says.  God, thank you letting him speak to me and for allowing me to listen.  And thank you for letting me stay strong, through the tears."

Ali, dear, what would i do without you?  Thanks for the prayer.